only in the movies

  • Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
  • If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
  • All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
  • Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
  • All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).
  • If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
  • The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
  • One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it’s called Stallone’s Law).
  • When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

One they left out: When standing or walking down the road and chased by a vehicle, run down the street as if to out-run the vehicle instead of just getting out of the street!

I think some fo these apply to TV too! From Nostalgia Central.

Be Sociable, Share!
  • Jo

    Can I add a few more?
    Babies are born immediately after the mother goes into labor.
    These babies come out clean and have the appearance of a 3-6 month old.

  • ….Or when you need to search a computer for information, regardless of whether the computer appears to be part of any network, Internet or otherwise, you always find yourself at a search application which immediately finds the answer you are looking for.