Best title for a post I’ve read in a while: Naked man runs through Starbucks, eats pastries, gets shot by rubber bullets. That should say it all.
But don’t you want more?
At 5am this morning, a “drunken naked guy” used a sock full of rocks to shatter the glass on the front door, and stormed inside to eat “all the pastries”. Police responded and found the guy running around the store, resisting arrest. He had feathers in his hair and an American flag [...] The cops had to use rubber bullets and a beanbag shotgun to subdue him.
And how do we know he was still drunk and not hung over? He didn’t want coffee yet. {rim shot}
Now if the naked guy had a cap on and stuck the feathers in that instead of his hair, I wonder if he’d call it macaroni? {long rim shot}
I like the line about how they “found the guy running around the store, resisting arrest.” I can just hear the cops now, “Hey! Naked guy! What are you doing in that Starbucks?” to which he replied, “Why, I’m resisting arrest!”
