Vote for me in ’08

I just realized I don’t need to worry about deciding who to vote for. I can vote for myself! According to the US Constitution, I’m eligible:

No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five years, and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States.

I think my slogan will be “Jimmy cracks corn and I don’t care.” It’s just sing-songy enough to catch on, doncha think?

I think one thing I’d do is make a paraphrase version of the Constitution. Yeah, it’s kinda easy to read, but it could be easier! Like, “If you want to be President of the US, you have to: 1. Be born in the US, 2. Be a US citizen, 3. Lived here the last 14 years, and 4. Are at least 35 years old.”

I’ll even let you help me build my platform. So whadda want?

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  • Paraphrase the Constitution?!!! Treason, I say!

  • You don’t have to be born in the US and a citizen, you just need to be a citizen at the time of the constitution’s adoption in 1787.

    Typical paraphrase. KJV ONLY!

  • You have my vote!